Amazing Grace: A Song That Lives in the Soul

Lauren Nixon-Matney • May 26, 2025
Amazing Grace: A Song That Lives in the Soul

Willie Nelson: Amazing Grace

Pixel art portrait of a mother and daughters gathered together in front of a Christmas tree in Christmas pajamas in a warm, festive setting, symbolizing faith, family, and music passed through generations in the Searching for Stars Galaxy

The first time I heard Amazing Grace, I was too young to understand the weight of its words, but I think I felt them. Before I knew what it meant to be lost and then found, before I knew the depth of grace, I knew the sound of it. It was always there, lingering in the background, steady as a heartbeat. My Nanny’s favorite song, the one she hummed without thinking, the one she carried with her like a quiet prayer. I can still hear it in my mind—her voice soft and unwavering, a melody worn smooth by time.


Later, it became something else entirely. A lullaby. A moment in the dark, Jamie holding our babies close, rocking them gently, his voice low and warm, singing the same words that had been sung long before either of us were here. I would stand in the doorway, barely breathing, watching, listening. There was something sacred about it not just the song itself, but the way it belonged to us now. The way it wrapped around our children, like a thread binding the past to the present.


And then, there was Jaxon.


At just three or four years old, he started singing it back to Jamie, his little voice rising up in the same melody he’d heard so many times before. I don’t know if he understood the words then, but he knew them. He carried them. And in that moment watching my son, so small, so full of innocence, repeating those ancient lyrics I realized how deeply Amazing Grace had woven itself into my life. It was no longer just a song. It was a legacy, passed down without effort, without intention, just as naturally as breathing.


It’s strange how music does that, how it plants itself inside of you, how it lingers long after the moment has passed. Amazing Grace is a song that has lasted for centuries, surviving wars, loss, and change. Maybe because it was written in a storm, born from a man who had once been lost in every way a person can be lost. John Newton should have died at sea, but he didn’t. And when he made it through the wreckage, he knew grace had spared him. Undeserved, unearned, but given anyway.


Maybe that’s why it’s endured. Because at some point, we all come to understand that kind of grace.


I have heard Amazing Grace sung so many different ways. Dolly Parton, Aretha Franklin, Elvis. But Willie Nelson’s version is the one that stays with me. His voice is different from all the others where some take the song to church, Willie brings it home. His voice is worn, familiar, steady as an old Texas road. He doesn’t try to elevate the song. He just lets it be. There’s something about the way he sings it that settles deep inside me, something that feels less like a performance and more like a memory.


And perhaps that’s why I keep coming back to it—because I grew up in Texas, and Willie Nelson is stitched into the fabric of home. Maybe it’s because my parents listened to his records, because my Granny liked his music, because his voice is woven into my roots, even before I knew it. But, when Willie sings Amazing Grace, I don’t just hear it...I feel it. A slow, quiet pull in my chest, a memory rising up from somewhere long forgotten. The first strum of his guitar settles low in my stomach, and then his voice comes in—unrushed, unpolished, real. It’s the kind of voice that makes you stop, makes you close your eyes, makes you take a deep breath you didn’t even know you needed. The kind of voice that doesn’t just carry a song it carries a life lived, a road traveled, a soul weathered but steady.


And somehow his version reminds me of Jamie’s voice. Not in sound but in feeling. Jamie, singing our babies to sleep, his voice filling the space between us like something ancient, something magical, something real.


And then came Gracie.


Our Amazing Gracie.


We didn’t know what life had in store for us in 2023. We didn’t know that in the middle of grief, change, and uncertainty, we would find out that we were being given a new light. A baby. A daughter. A piece of grace in human form.


Because that’s what she was. That’s what she is. A light. A reminder. The kind of grace that finds you when you need it most, even if you don’t realize it at the time.


When Jamie held her for the first time, I knew Amazing Grace would be the first song she ever heard him sing.


Her presence mended the unseen fractures within us, stitching together the fabric of our hearts with threads of newfound joy. She taught us to find wonder in the mundane, to cherish the present, and to see the world through unclouded eyes. Gracie didn’t just enter our lives; she transformed them, reminding us of the boundless grace we hadn’t realized we were yearning for.


It’s strange how something as simple as a song can become part of the foundation of a family, how it can weave itself into the quietest moments, the most unexpected places. It was there when my Nanny hummed it in the kitchen. It was there when Jamie rocked our babies in the dark. It was there when Jaxon, barely old enough to understand what he was singing, lifted his tiny voice and filled the air with it. And it was there in Gracie’s name, in the miracle of her presence, in the way she became the light we didn’t know we needed.


Amazing Grace has lasted through the centuries because grace is never really one moment. It is always unfolding, always moving, always finding a way back into our lives.


It was there in my Nanny’s voice, humming in the background of my childhood.


It was there in Jamie’s lullabies, sung to all three of our babies.

It was there in Jaxon’s tiny voice, repeating the words before he even knew what they meant.


And it was there in Gracie, in the way she arrived at exactly the right time.


Amazing Grace isn’t just a song to me.


It’s our song. It’s a story. A prayer. A thread through time.

RESUME THE RHYTHM:

DRIFT THROUGH A CONSTELLATION OF MEMORY

Searching For Stars

By Lauren Nixon-Matney July 5, 2026
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By Lauren Nixon-Matney July 5, 2026
My favorite literary phrase of all time is spoken by Josephine March, written by Louisa May Alcott in Little Women. “I like good, strong words that mean something.” You, my dear, you say good, strong words that mean something. You put good, strong words that mean something into the world, and I thank you so very sincerely for that. You have made such an incredible impact on my life, and on my outlook on beauty and aging. ⸻ I stumbled across your incredible fashion sense on Instagram and was completely hooked on your vibe. I absolutely love fashion. I always have. I’ve definitely had my own kind of zany style over the years. So when I saw you, I was like, OK, yes, she is amazing. I love this energy. ⸻ The way you put things together, the confidence, the energy, it makes you wanna get up, go into your closet, and actually enjoy getting dressed again. And for a woman approaching 40, who’s had three children and has had many of her own struggles with who am I, what’s my fashion, what’s my energy, or what’s my style, You just felt so damn refreshing and inspiring. So I hung around, but what really hooked me wasn’t just the style, it was you, the essence of you. The way you talk, the honesty, the fact that you just say things straight, no fluff, no sugarcoating, no trying to be anything other than exactly who you are.. and somehow that makes everything you say sound even more profound. ⸻ The impact your message was having in my life became undeniable. It wasn’t just something I watched for enjoyment anymore, it was something I actually began feeling, and carrying with me. I grew up in a time where it felt like there was an expiration date on women. Like if you didn’t fit into a certain mold, or size, or type… your worth somehow became less. And then life happens. You grow up. You age. Maybe have kids. Your body changes. Your priorities change. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, you can kind of lose your sense of… who am I now? What’s my style? Who am I supposed to become? Am I too late for something? What even feels like me anymore? So for a while, I think I actually bought into that idea without even realizing it. The idiodic notion that maybe I had passed some invisible point where things were supposed to quiet down. Tone down. Fit into something more “acceptable.” Or the grand illusion that I was out of time to follow my passions! But watching you… that narrative just started to fall apart. The way you show up, the way you speak, the way you move through the world so fully as yourself… it made me realize that aging isn’t something to fear or shrink from. If anything, it’s where things start to get really good. It’s where you get bolder. More comfortable. More you. More beautiful. ⸻ What you’re doing matters so much. The way you show up, the way you speak, the way you fully own who you are, it doesn’t just stay on a screen. It carries through pixelated waves. It reaches people like me, in real life, in real moments, and shifts something quietly but powerfully within us. So I just wanted to say thank you. For your honesty, your energy, your style, your voice… all of it. You have inspired me, Searching for Stars, and undoubtedly countless women all over the world more than words can truly translate. Thank you, for being you!
By Lauren Nixon-Matney May 6, 2026
Okay, so I asked God for a sign this week… and I didn’t make it easy on Him. I had just seen this video about asking for a sign, about how God answers, about how He delights in it… and something in me just… recognized that. Like, oh. I’ve felt that before. Lindsey, it was your video. And the second I heard it, I remembered something. I remembered a time, years ago, back in that early, foggy, pinkless season of motherhood, when I had asked for a sign too. I had prayed, really specifically… really honestly… “God, just show me I’m okay. Show me I’m on the right path.” And I asked for a blue butterfly. I didn’t see it right away. I waited. I wondered if I had imagined the whole idea in the first place. And then, not long after, life moved us somewhere new. A new place, new energy… the kind of move that feels exciting and terrifying all at once. They handed us the keys… and right there on them… was a blue butterfly. And I remember feeling that same quiet recognition. Like… okay. And then, a couple months after that, with prayers inside us building for a second child, we went to a park. One of those ordinary days that turns into something you don’t forget. And there were butterflies everywhere. Hundreds of them. Yellow, filling the air, lifting all at once like something out of a dream. And right in the middle of it… one blue butterfly. I just stood there, overwhelmed, because I knew. I knew I had been heard. Nearly one year to the day later, our second child was born. And then… life kept moving. Time passed. Things got busy. Full. Loud. Beautiful… but a little hazy, too. Somewhere along the way, I think I stopped asking like that. Fast forward. I’m sitting with my kids on New Year’s Eve, going into 2025, talking about goals and dreams. The kind of things you say out loud but don’t always fully claim. “I’ve always wanted to write.” And my daughter, so sure, so certain, just looked at me and said, “Then make it your New Year’s resolution.” And something about the way she said it… she didn’t question it. she didn’t overthink it. She just… believed it was possible. So I did. I started building something I’ve carried in pieces since I was in high school. Old notebooks, scattered thoughts, songs, memories… things I’ve never really known how to explain out loud. And for the first time, it felt like someone actually got it. So I got to work. Writing with a baby asleep on my chest… voice notes, typed drafts, music playing in the background… piecing together old memories with new ones. And I love it. I really do. But if I’m being honest… I started to wonder. Is this meaningful? Is this worth the time? Is this something good… or just something I want? And more than anything… I wanted to know if it was something God saw as good. Not just something that looked meaningful… but something that was. So I sat down, quietly, and I prayed. And I said, “God, if this is something I’m supposed to keep building… if I’m on the right path… if this is your will for me… please just show me. Give me a sign.” And I paused… because I knew I couldn’t ask for something easy. I had asked for butterflies before and blue jays have been unusually common in our backyard lately. I needed something specific. Something I wouldn’t just brush off. I looked over… and saw this little pink and white poodle sitting on my daughter’s shelf. And I laughed a little and said, “Okay God… show me a poodle.” almost sarcastically thinking… well, this one’s going to take a little more effort. But of course… Not even 48 hours later, we ran into Burlington. We were just there to grab socks and shoes for my toddler, her sandals were bothering her. Quick in, quick out. We ended up wandering a little. We’re headed to checkout… and my husband steps down an aisle, picks something up, and goes, “Okay, I know this is ridiculous… but we need this for the office.” And he had no idea. Nothing about my prayer. Nothing about the poodle. I’m barely paying attention yet. And then he turns it around. It’s a painting. Of a poodle. Not just a poodle… a poodle in a full business suit… sitting at a desk… reading a newspaper. I just… stopped. A business professional poodle, for the office we’re building together, a space where I can write. Like everything in me went quiet for a second. Because of all the things in the world I could have asked for… of all the ways that prayer could have been answered… it was that. I remember thinking, smiling, fighting back tears of joy… of course it is. Because I had asked for something specific. And apparently… He has a sense of humor. Also, just to make sure I didn’t miss it… because let’s be real, God definitely knows how to show out… the very next place we went… was Petco. And there was this real poodle. Then again. And again. Every aisle I turned… I kept running into it. And that feeling came back. The same one from before. Quiet. Certain. seen. beloved. Lindsey… Thank you so much, you reminded me to ask. You reminded me that God doesn’t just hear us… He answers. Not always in big, overwhelming ways… but in ways we’ll recognize. In ways that feel personal. Specific. Sometimes even funny… like they were meant just for us. And Lindsey… I just want you to know how much I appreciate all of what you’re doing. Your energy, your humor, the way you show up so fully as yourself… it matters more than you probably realize. You make people laugh, you make motherhood feel seen, and you bring light into spaces that can feel heavy sometimes. But there is also so much more than that… God really radiates through you. In the way you speak, in the way you encourage, in the way you remind people to keep going and to keep believing. It’s powerful. And it’s beautiful to witness. What you’ve created with “get your pink back”… that message, that reminder… it’s reaching people. It’s lifting people. It’s giving something back to women who feel like they’ve poured everything out. And that matters. It really does. I’m so grateful I came across your video when I did. And I’m really looking forward to everything you create next… especially your writing. You’re doing something good here. Keep going. Please never stop casting your light into the world… it really does break through the darkness.
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