The Woods: Between the Flames and the Stars

Lauren Nixon-Matney • May 4, 2025

The Woods: Between the Flames and the Stars

Hollow Coves: The Woods

Audio Book Style

The fire crackles, embers floating into the night like fireflies. The air is thick with woodsmoke, warmth radiating from the flames. Somewhere deep in the trees, the wind hums through the branches, and for a moment—just a flicker—time bends.


The way this song moves my soul—it carries me through time, through embers and echoes of what once was. I am a child again, in a tiny Texas town where bonfires mark the seasons, where homecoming means flames licking at the sky and the whole town gathered around. The heat of the fire against cool night air. The feeling of something unshakably familiar. Belonging. Safety. Warmth.

I see my dad, standing by the fireplace in our childhood home, the glow of the flames flickering across his face. He loved the fire. Not just for its heat, but for what it meant. Stillness. Togetherness. A moment that needed nothing more than itself. He would back up to the flames, hands in his pockets, letting the warmth soak into him like it was part of some ritual. I can still hear his laugh. I can still see him there.


It is New Year’s Eve, 1999. The whole world waits to see if the clocks will glitch, if Y2K will swallow everything we know. My mother is with Carl then. Carl, who is steady and kind and feels like something solid. His kids are there too, laughing, running through the cold, their faces glowing in the firelight. The bonfire is enormous, flames leaping into the sky, heat rolling across our faces. Sparks spiral upward, vanishing into the night like tiny shooting stars. I don’t know what the future will hold, but in this moment, I am warm. I am safe. I am here.


The fire shifts, the scene flickers.


Time moves like a slow-burning ember, stretching between what once was and what comes next. I am older now. My mother is with my stepdad, a drunk but a nice enough man. However, the people who linger around the fire at night—they are not safe. I remember lying awake in my bedroom knife under my pillow just in case I needed the protection, the flicker of flames through the window, the shadows shifting on the walls. Bonfires that once meant community and comfort now feel different. The flicker of flames through my window is no longer inviting, but haunting. A gathering of drunks and addicts right outside. Shadows shifting, voices slurred, laughter that doesn’t sound quite right. Something I do not trust. Something unsettling. Unsafe.


The fire flickers again, and time shifts once more.

I am in California. The mornings are crisp and cold, and my husband and I wake early, flipping on the fireplace before anything else. The warmth spills into the room, chasing the chill away. He feels like home, like something I can hold onto. We sit close, wrapped in blankets, watching the flames dance and listening to old records.


Another flicker.


Later—pregnant with our sweet Maverick, back in my dad’s house, watching him do what he always did. Backing up to the fire, warming himself like it was the most important task in the world. He was always doing that. I never thought about how much I’d miss it.

The embers glow, and another memory rises.


Hot Springs, Arkansas. The woods, but this time, they are ours. The National Forest stretches beyond our backyard, wild and endless. The trees whisper, and for the first time in a long time, the woods feel like magic again. Like home.


My son is small and some of our best moments are spent by the fireplace—reading, lying together, warmth wrapping around us like something holy. The crackling of the flames, the weight of him in my arms. I will hold onto this forever.


The fire flickers, reshaping time once more.


 New Year’s Eve, 2025 in Texas. The fire burns high, casting long shadows. But this time, it is not my childhood. It is my children’s. I watch them sitting there, faces flickering in the firelight, laughter rising into the night air. Carl’s kids are here too, their own children sitting beside mine. The people I love surround me, old and new, bonded by something deeper than blood.


I sit there, watching the flames, feeling time fold in on itself.


I think of my dad, of the way the fire always pulled him close.


I think of all the warmth that has held me, all the places the fire has burned.


And I know—woven between the flames and the stars where fire meets sky, where embers become stardust—something greater lingers.

Searching For Stars

By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 18, 2025
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Dear Toren, The internet can be loud, cold, and cruel. But then—every once in a while—someone like you shows up. And suddenly, it feels like stars are breaking through the static. I don’t remember exactly when I found you—but I remember the feeling. A sudden hush in my chest. The way my breath caught on the truth of your presence—your light, real light, the kind that can’t be filtered, pouring through my screen and into my soul. You weren’t performing. You were being. And there is so much power in that. In a world of noise, you and your mom carry something sacred: an unfiltered, unflinching, unstoppable joy-the kind that comes not from pretending to be okay, but from loving yourself exactly as you are and letting that love ripple outward. Watching you… listening to you… I saw pieces of my son. And in your mom, I saw myself. The hopes. The fears. The sacred fire of trying to raise a child with everything you have—and then some. The kind of love that rearranges you from the inside out. The kind that says, “I see you. I hear you. And I’m staying with you.” And while we’re here—can I just say? Your fashion sense is unmatched. Every outfit is a moment. Every accessory, a small act of liberation. You express joy, truth, and color before you’ve even said a word. It’s art. Because of you, I’ve learned more about how to love my children. Because of you, I’ve softened toward myself. Because of you, I’ve started to understand: the things I once labeled as “too much” were never flaws—just parts of my light trying to break free. You’ve reminded me that neurodivergence isn’t a detour. It’s a map. A divine, detailed map to a new kind of wholeness—one where nothing has to be hidden or fixed to be loved. You shine, Toren. You and Serenity Christine are so beautiful—your inner light shines bright beyond the surface. In every sea shanty. In every moment of humor, honesty, hope. In every word Serenity wraps around you like a song. And you remind the rest of us—every day—that being yourself isn’t just enough. It’s everything. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Keep shining. With Love, Lauren Searching for Stars
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