Landslide: Constellations of Change

Lauren Nixon-Matney • May 4, 2025

Landslide: Constellations of Change

Pixel art portrait of The Shaman and his daughter Lauren standing side by side beneath a night sky of Stars, symbolizing reflection, transformation and generational connection in this Searching for Stars piece.

My Dad was my best friend - a brilliant Shaman with a beautiful soul, and a great dad who lived a life marked by pain and resilience. He passed away in 2021, and not a day goes by that I don’t think of him.


Many years ago, he played Landslide for me at a pivotal moment in both our lives. It was the live version where Stevie Nicks dedicated the song to her father, saying, “This is for you, Daddy.” Hearing those words felt like the song was speaking directly to my soul, as I watched my Dad grapple with pain, loss and his new reality rediscovering himself in sobriety.


We were sitting at the Hobbit Hole, an extended after-care housing unit, a name that made it sound more magical than it was. My Dad had been fighting his demons and finding his way back to the best version of himself. This was also the place and time in my story where I took my now-husband to meet my Dad for the first time a moment that added layers of meaning to the song, one of loss, love, recovery and growth.


Landslide became more than a song. It was a mirror of our lives, the cracks we were trying to piece back together, and the hope that carried us forward. My Dad played it with a depth that only he could, his voice raw and trembling, filled with both sorrow and pride. He wasn’t just playing for me; he was playing for us,for our story, for his redemption, for the chance to be the father he wanted to be and, in so many ways, already was.


Landslide was our anthem of survival a way of reminding both of us that even when the ground gives way beneath you, there’s something bigger above. His strength wasn’t just in enduring the pain, but in teaching me how to see the beauty in disaster, how to keep searching for stars even when the night feels endless.


RESUME THE RHYTHM:

DRIFT THROUGH A CONSTELLATION OF MEMORY

Searching For Stars

By Lauren Nixon-Matney April 12, 2026
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By Lauren Nixon-Matney April 12, 2026
*A letter of light for Rosey Blair* Okay this is going to sound oddly specific but stay with me... You remind me of a very particular kind of feeling. The kind that lives somewhere between fall air, soft lighting, and a childhood movie that most people forgot existed, but the ones who remember it? Oh we remember. The 1987 Chipmunk Adventure! Which I did not expect to ever connect to another adult human about, and yet here I am. There’s just something about that movie the movement, the music, the chaos, the fun, the outfits, the chipettes... like being in motion and color and sound at the same time. And watching you feels like that again in a weirdly beautiful , full circle way. Not in a “this is aesthetic content” way more like a “this is a person who actually lives inside her life” way. And ironically that’s what makes your aesthetic top notch in my opinion. Cozy but not fake. Honest and raw but not too harsh. Funny without trying to perform funny. (which is rarer than people think) There’s a warmth in how you show up that feels familiar in a way I can’t fully explain but definitely recognize. I came across you scrolling my phone, postpartum, trying to find my footing again. At the time I was in that weird in between space, relearning my body, trying to feel like myself inside something that had completely changed... yet again. And you showed up in your space on instagram in a way that felt real. Authentic. Original. Not “perfect body positivity” not curated confidence just a woman existing in her body dressing it, living in it, laughing in it and making that feel normal again. Healthy. Beautiful. Fun! Something I really grew to respect about you was that you didn’t stay frozen in one version of that message or yourself just to make people comfortable. You shifted. And I really admire the way you talk about Changing your mind. Leaving spaces that don’t feel right anymore. Figuring out that loving yourself isn’t one fixed version it evolves. That kind of honesty is quietly powerful and extremely profound. You evolved and changed your mind out loud. And people always have something to say when a woman does that... but you stayed steady anyway. That kind of self trust? That’s the part people don’t talk about enough. That’s what bravery looks like in real time! You don’t just create content, you create an honest space for people to re-meet themselves in whatever version they’re currently in. It’s the kind of magic that doesn’t need to be announced it just exists, and people feel it when they orbit around it. You didn’t just show up on my feed, you showed up in a moment where I needed to feel like myself again. Like a song you forgot you loved until it comes back on and suddenly you remember everything. And somehow through outfits, honesty, humor, book reviews and a lot of zany ingenuity... you saved parts of my girlhood that likely make me a better mother. Thanks so much for being you! Thanks for being real. Thanks for taking up space, your energy’s reach is more powerful than you ever might have imagined. P.S... I have to add this because it lives rent free in my brain! That Taylor Swift workout series you did?!? absolutely unhinged in the best way It was funny and chaotic and somehow still motivating… I'm not deep in Taylor Swift knowledge territory, but it made me pause and go “okay wait... there’s something here.” The way she owns her work, reclaims it, redraws the line that I own me energy it felt incredibly aligned with what you were doing too. With love, light and gratitude, Stay Weird! -Lauren “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” -Louisa May Alcott
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