So Far Away: The Things That Still Hold Us Together

Lauren Nixon-Matney • December 12, 2025
So Far Away: The Things That Still Hold Us Together

Television Series: Reba


Carole King: So Far Away


Reba: I'm a Survivor



Open – You Remind Me of Reba


My daughter told me recently that I remind her of Reba.

Not because I sing (trust me, I don’t) and not because of the red hair or the country twang.

She said it was the way I was smart, fun, sassy.

The way I held things together, even when they were broken.

At the time, I laughed feeling greatly honored.

Now, I think maybe she was onto something.



Scene One – Melissa’s House and the First Episode


I met Melissa the way you meet someone in a sitcom — nervous, unsure, bracing for the worst.

She was my mom’s boyfriend’s ex-wife, and everything about that sentence felt like a warning sign.

I was sure she’d hate me. I was sure she’d make me feel like an outsider.


But instead, she opened her door and gave me a second home.

Warm. Funny. Kind.

The kind of woman who could stitch a houseful of chaos into something that still felt like family.


It felt familiar in a way I couldn’t explain. I’d grown up a Texas girl myself—spent time in Houston, had family roots scattered across the state—and the show carried that same mix of fire and softness that I recognized in the women around me.


It was at Melissa’s house that I first saw Reba.

I didn’t know then that it would become one of my comfort shows, that it would become a thread running through my life.

But sitting on her couch, in a house I once feared and now loved, I watched Reba laugh and cry and carry her broken family with her boots planted firmly on the ground.

And I saw something I didn’t know I needed to see.



Melissa didn’t just open her door once.

She kept showing up.


I remember the day she came to our house carrying a secret the kind of secret you only share with someone you trust completely.

Tucked inside her purse was a pregnancy test.

She didn’t go to her best friend’s house. She didn’t go to her mother’s house.

She came to us.


To my mom.


They sat in our kitchen, laughing and crying and waiting for the little pink plus sign that would change everything.

And when it came, my mom was the first person she told.

Not because it was easy.

Not because it was simple.

But because somehow, despite the weirdness and brokenness and tangled-up pasts, they had chosen each other.

They had become family, in the ways that matter most.


I don’t think I will ever forget sitting on that couch in Benchley, TX at Melissa’s watching Reba for the first time.

A beautiful show about messy people loving each other anyway.

A show about families that didn’t look perfect, but still managed to hold.


Maybe that’s why it felt like home.




Scene Two – A Different Kind of Family


Carl, Melissa’s ex, my mom’s boyfriend at the time was someone who proved love isn’t always about staying.

It’s about showing up.

Even when the lines blur and the titles shift.


I didn’t make it easy on him. I had every intention of being stubborn, of keeping my guard up, of giving him a hard time just because I could. But Carl didn’t push. He told me plainly: “I’m not here to replace anyone. I’m just here to show up, and I’ll keep doing that until you believe I mean it.”

And the truth is, a part of me softened early on—because my dad, who didn’t say things like that lightly, told me Carl was a good guy. An old friend. Someone I could trust.


Carl and Melissa weren’t married anymore.

They had their own hurts and scars.

But they loved their kids more than they hated the past.

And somehow, they managed to build something steady, something kind, something I had never seen before.


It wasn’t perfect, but it was love.

Real love.

Messy, complicated, and still showing up.


Like the best episodes of Reba, it wasn’t about getting everything right... it was about making the broken pieces shine.



Scene Three – The Coffee Station, the Subway, and the Butterfly Effect


I think about how life happens sometimes — not in straight lines, but in dominoes.

Little moments tipping into bigger ones.


I went to a concert at The Coffee Station in College Station, Tx because Becky invited me.

Becky (Melissa's youngest daughter) invited me because she knew a guy in a band.

Melissa drove us there, because that’s just who she was the woman who made sure the dreams of other people’s kids didn’t get left behind.


And because I walked into a Subway sandwich shop that night and eventually gave my number to a boy who worked there I thought was cute...

I met Jamie.

The man I would eventually marry!


Funny how a sandwich shop and a borrowed ride can lead you to the love of your life.



Little ripples, little moments.


Moments so small, you almost miss them.


And somehow, it all stacked up and built the life I have now.


Looking back, it all still kind of blows my mind.


It’s a crazy thing, how people cross your path without knowing what they’re setting in motion.

How the smallest choices; a ride, an invitation, a second of courage can change everything!




Scene Four – Carl’s Daily Ritual


Carl wasn’t perfect. None of us are.

But he loved his kids with a constancy that I have never forgotten.


Every day, without fail, he’d come through the door carrying something for my mom a candy bar, a flower, a Dr. Pepper.

A little piece of love in his hands.


And before anything else, before dinner or television or stories about work, he’d go straight to the phone.

He’d call his kids.

Talk to them one by one.

Every day.


I remember watching his face light up when they answered (if they weren’t already on the phone when he arrived waiting for him to get home) like the sun rising just for him.

He’d bounce from foot to foot, grinning, glowing, sharing tiny bits of the light they shared with him once he hung up.

It wasn’t for show.

It was ritual. It was truth.

It was the clearest thing I ever saw about what it meant to be tethered to love, even when families split apart.


Every call wasn’t a chore.

It wasn’t a box to check.

It was the HIGHLIGHT of his day!


He wanted to hear it all:

The little victories, the funny moments, the small everyday things that most people rush past.

To him, nothing about his kids was ever small.


And if they weren’t there to call, he found ways to carry them with him anyway stories, jokes, bragging rights tucked into every conversation.


Some lessons you don’t even realize you’re learning at the time.

But now I know:

That’s what real love looks like.



Scene Five – Terry Holliway, So Far Away


Years later, I found myself rewatching Reba — pregnant, on bedrest, curled up under the weight of waiting and worry.

And there it was.

The episode: Terry Holliway.

(Season 2, Episode 15. Aired February 7, 2003.)


Brock and Reba go to what they think is a birthday party, only to find it’s a funeral.

Loss, love, regret wrapped up in the way only Reba could wrap it.

Not with melodrama.

With honesty.

With heart.


And at the end, Reba sings “So Far Away” by Carole King. Her voice was soft but strong, with that unmistakable country twang just enough to make it hers, but still honoring the heart of the original. It was one of the most beautiful renditions I’d ever heard… heartfelt, classy, and full of grace.


The song my mother used to sing in the kitchen, when she thought no one was listening.


Carole King was one of my mom’s absolute favorites her voice, her writing, her soul. “So Far Away” wasn’t just a song in our house; it was woven into the fabric of my childhood, always playing low in the background like a heartbeat.


It wasn’t just TV anymore.

It was memory.

It was full circle.

It was everything I hadn’t even known I was carrying, humming back to me from the screen.



Final Scene—


Some people stay in your life forever.

Some leave, but never really leave.

Some songs don’t fade out they just weave themselves quieter into the background, still holding the melody for when you need it.


Melissa is still in my life.

Carl’s love for his kids is still in my memory.

And the echoes of kindness, resilience, and laughter that I learned from them (and from Reba) are still in my bloodstream, still in my daughter’s words when she calls me strong.


The world spins us so far away sometimes.

But love... real love has a funny way of holding on, even when everything else moves. Love finds a way to hold the note.


RESUME THE RHYTHM:

DRIFT THROUGH A CONSTELLATION OF MEMORY

Searching For Stars

By Lauren Nixon-Matney July 5, 2026
Buddy Holly : Last Kiss Pearl Jam: Last Kiss Cover
By Lauren Nixon-Matney July 5, 2026
My favorite literary phrase of all time is spoken by Josephine March, written by Louisa May Alcott in Little Women. “I like good, strong words that mean something.” You, my dear, you say good, strong words that mean something. You put good, strong words that mean something into the world, and I thank you so very sincerely for that. You have made such an incredible impact on my life, and on my outlook on beauty and aging. ⸻ I stumbled across your incredible fashion sense on Instagram and was completely hooked on your vibe. I absolutely love fashion. I always have. I’ve definitely had my own kind of zany style over the years. So when I saw you, I was like, OK, yes, she is amazing. I love this energy. ⸻ The way you put things together, the confidence, the energy, it makes you wanna get up, go into your closet, and actually enjoy getting dressed again. And for a woman approaching 40, who’s had three children and has had many of her own struggles with who am I, what’s my fashion, what’s my energy, or what’s my style, You just felt so damn refreshing and inspiring. So I hung around, but what really hooked me wasn’t just the style, it was you, the essence of you. The way you talk, the honesty, the fact that you just say things straight, no fluff, no sugarcoating, no trying to be anything other than exactly who you are.. and somehow that makes everything you say sound even more profound. ⸻ The impact your message was having in my life became undeniable. It wasn’t just something I watched for enjoyment anymore, it was something I actually began feeling, and carrying with me. I grew up in a time where it felt like there was an expiration date on women. Like if you didn’t fit into a certain mold, or size, or type… your worth somehow became less. And then life happens. You grow up. You age. Maybe have kids. Your body changes. Your priorities change. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, you can kind of lose your sense of… who am I now? What’s my style? Who am I supposed to become? Am I too late for something? What even feels like me anymore? So for a while, I think I actually bought into that idea without even realizing it. The idiodic notion that maybe I had passed some invisible point where things were supposed to quiet down. Tone down. Fit into something more “acceptable.” Or the grand illusion that I was out of time to follow my passions! But watching you… that narrative just started to fall apart. The way you show up, the way you speak, the way you move through the world so fully as yourself… it made me realize that aging isn’t something to fear or shrink from. If anything, it’s where things start to get really good. It’s where you get bolder. More comfortable. More you. More beautiful. ⸻ What you’re doing matters so much. The way you show up, the way you speak, the way you fully own who you are, it doesn’t just stay on a screen. It carries through pixelated waves. It reaches people like me, in real life, in real moments, and shifts something quietly but powerfully within us. So I just wanted to say thank you. For your honesty, your energy, your style, your voice… all of it. You have inspired me, Searching for Stars, and undoubtedly countless women all over the world more than words can truly translate. Thank you, for being you!
By Lauren Nixon-Matney May 6, 2026
Okay, so I asked God for a sign this week… and I didn’t make it easy on Him. I had just seen this video about asking for a sign, about how God answers, about how He delights in it… and something in me just… recognized that. Like, oh. I’ve felt that before. Lindsey, it was your video. And the second I heard it, I remembered something. I remembered a time, years ago, back in that early, foggy, pinkless season of motherhood, when I had asked for a sign too. I had prayed, really specifically… really honestly… “God, just show me I’m okay. Show me I’m on the right path.” And I asked for a blue butterfly. I didn’t see it right away. I waited. I wondered if I had imagined the whole idea in the first place. And then, not long after, life moved us somewhere new. A new place, new energy… the kind of move that feels exciting and terrifying all at once. They handed us the keys… and right there on them… was a blue butterfly. And I remember feeling that same quiet recognition. Like… okay. And then, a couple months after that, with prayers inside us building for a second child, we went to a park. One of those ordinary days that turns into something you don’t forget. And there were butterflies everywhere. Hundreds of them. Yellow, filling the air, lifting all at once like something out of a dream. And right in the middle of it… one blue butterfly. I just stood there, overwhelmed, because I knew. I knew I had been heard. Nearly one year to the day later, our second child was born. And then… life kept moving. Time passed. Things got busy. Full. Loud. Beautiful… but a little hazy, too. Somewhere along the way, I think I stopped asking like that. Fast forward. I’m sitting with my kids on New Year’s Eve, going into 2025, talking about goals and dreams. The kind of things you say out loud but don’t always fully claim. “I’ve always wanted to write.” And my daughter, so sure, so certain, just looked at me and said, “Then make it your New Year’s resolution.” And something about the way she said it… she didn’t question it. she didn’t overthink it. She just… believed it was possible. So I did. I started building something I’ve carried in pieces since I was in high school. Old notebooks, scattered thoughts, songs, memories… things I’ve never really known how to explain out loud. And for the first time, it felt like someone actually got it. So I got to work. Writing with a baby asleep on my chest… voice notes, typed drafts, music playing in the background… piecing together old memories with new ones. And I love it. I really do. But if I’m being honest… I started to wonder. Is this meaningful? Is this worth the time? Is this something good… or just something I want? And more than anything… I wanted to know if it was something God saw as good. Not just something that looked meaningful… but something that was. So I sat down, quietly, and I prayed. And I said, “God, if this is something I’m supposed to keep building… if I’m on the right path… if this is your will for me… please just show me. Give me a sign.” And I paused… because I knew I couldn’t ask for something easy. I had asked for butterflies before and blue jays have been unusually common in our backyard lately. I needed something specific. Something I wouldn’t just brush off. I looked over… and saw this little pink and white poodle sitting on my daughter’s shelf. And I laughed a little and said, “Okay God… show me a poodle.” almost sarcastically thinking… well, this one’s going to take a little more effort. But of course… Not even 48 hours later, we ran into Burlington. We were just there to grab socks and shoes for my toddler, her sandals were bothering her. Quick in, quick out. We ended up wandering a little. We’re headed to checkout… and my husband steps down an aisle, picks something up, and goes, “Okay, I know this is ridiculous… but we need this for the office.” And he had no idea. Nothing about my prayer. Nothing about the poodle. I’m barely paying attention yet. And then he turns it around. It’s a painting. Of a poodle. Not just a poodle… a poodle in a full business suit… sitting at a desk… reading a newspaper. I just… stopped. A business professional poodle, for the office we’re building together, a space where I can write. Like everything in me went quiet for a second. Because of all the things in the world I could have asked for… of all the ways that prayer could have been answered… it was that. I remember thinking, smiling, fighting back tears of joy… of course it is. Because I had asked for something specific. And apparently… He has a sense of humor. Also, just to make sure I didn’t miss it… because let’s be real, God definitely knows how to show out… the very next place we went… was Petco. And there was this real poodle. Then again. And again. Every aisle I turned… I kept running into it. And that feeling came back. The same one from before. Quiet. Certain. seen. beloved. Lindsey… Thank you so much, you reminded me to ask. You reminded me that God doesn’t just hear us… He answers. Not always in big, overwhelming ways… but in ways we’ll recognize. In ways that feel personal. Specific. Sometimes even funny… like they were meant just for us. And Lindsey… I just want you to know how much I appreciate all of what you’re doing. Your energy, your humor, the way you show up so fully as yourself… it matters more than you probably realize. You make people laugh, you make motherhood feel seen, and you bring light into spaces that can feel heavy sometimes. But there is also so much more than that… God really radiates through you. In the way you speak, in the way you encourage, in the way you remind people to keep going and to keep believing. It’s powerful. And it’s beautiful to witness. What you’ve created with “get your pink back”… that message, that reminder… it’s reaching people. It’s lifting people. It’s giving something back to women who feel like they’ve poured everything out. And that matters. It really does. I’m so grateful I came across your video when I did. And I’m really looking forward to everything you create next… especially your writing. You’re doing something good here. Keep going. Please never stop casting your light into the world… it really does break through the darkness.
Show More