Another One Bites The Dust: Where Love Burns

Lauren Nixon-Matney • April 12, 2026
Another One Bites The Dust: Where Love Burns
Retro 32-bit pixel art of two figures back-to-back surrounded by swirling fire beneath a star-filled sky with floating music notes, symbolizing conflict, passion, and reconciliation through musical echolalia, inspired by Another One Bites the Dust by Queen and themes of love, tension, and emotional cycles. Part of the Searching for Stars multimedia memoir book series universe by writer and digital creator Lauren Nixon-Matney.

This piece is a spoken word poem written from the perspective of musical echolalia in real time… when emotion syncs with a song and starts to structure the way you think and feel.

The rhythm is there guiding the moment as it unfolds.


Not accidental… but something the brain recognizes as familiar and safe, like it’s already playing softly in the background, buried underneath the memory taking shape.

Another One Bites The Dust: Where Love Burns


it’s already happening


I can feel it in my chest

before a single word lands right


that tight

familiar

here we go



you say something


I hear something else


and I don’t check it

I don’t slow it

I don’t give you the benefit


I react 



boom


you swing back


of course you do


we don’t do soft

when we’re like this



another one bites the dust


not us

not yet

not today


but something does


every time



we get mean


not strangers-on-the-internet mean


worse


the kind of mean

that knows exactly

where to go


because we’ve been trusted

with the map



and I hate that part


I hate

how easy it is

to hurt you


I hate

how easy it is

to choose it



and I feel it


right there

mid-sentence


this is wrong


this is not who I want to be


this is not who I am


and I keep going



because you are too


because we both care

too much

to stay quiet


and now we’re both

too far in


to pretend

we didn’t mean it



another one bites the dust


not us


just respect

just softness

just the version of love

we talk about

when we’re not like this



we don’t stop

we exhaust


we run it all the way out

like we’re trying to win something

that doesn’t exist


like we forgot

we’re on the same team



and then


nothing



just that silence


where everything we said

is still sitting there


alive



and this is the part

that breaks me


not the yelling


this


looking at you


and knowing

I just made you feel

something I would never

want you to feel



and knowing


you did it back



we don’t break


we burn


and sometimes

we burn each other


and then we have to stand there

in the smoke


of something we built


together


and figure out

how to breathe


again



I look at you


really look


past the fight

past the words

past the fire 


and the realization becomes raw


harder than anything we said



I love you


and I just treated you

like nothing… like dust 


that’s the part

that aches



another one bites the dust


not us


not today


just something inside us

that keeps breaking

before we can catch it


“Hey, are you ready for this?

Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?”


“Out of the doorway, the [insults] rip

To the sound of the beat”



and I know better


that’s the shame


I know the pattern

I know the rhythm


how fast it builds

how hard it hits

how it always sounds the same

right before it falls apart


the same beat

every time



boom


there it is


again



and now it’s quiet


just the aftermath

of another round


another hit

another thing we can’t take back

another piece of us

on the floor



another one bites the dust



I just sit in it


feel it


how close we get

every time



to something breaking

for real



we don’t fix it 


we just stay


in the wreckage


breathing



and it changes


not all at once


not clean


just… less loud



the same space


different air



I can still feel it


where it landed


what it cost



but you’re still there


not across from me


not against me


just… there



close


like we always end up


whether we mean to or not



and it’s not fixed


nothing about this is fixed



but something familiar 

starts to come back


through the wreckage


through the pride

still sitting in our throats


through the part of me

that wants to stay mad



something older than the fight


something stronger than the words


something more powerful than heat



I reach for you


just… instinct


like my body knows

before I do


we stand there


in what we did


in what we are


in all the ways

we still don’t get it right



and still


it’s you



still


it’s me



still


us



another one bites the dust


not us


and the fire’s still there


but different now


quieter


closer



the same heat


that burned


now pulling us back in


and I let it



not the fight


not the words



you



I let you pull me back in


even with all of this

still sitting between us



because it’s always been like that


hasn’t it



we don’t do anything halfway


not the damage


not the love



and I hate that

and I love that


at the same time



because even here


even like this


I know what this is



I know who you are to me



and I feel it


under everything


under the noise

under the heat



still there


still steady



not gone


not even close



another one bites the dust


not us



I’m still here


still yours


wide-eyed 

with admiration 

and pride 


even when I don’t get it right



even when it looks like this


messy 


vivacious


alive


RESUME THE RHYTHM:

DRIFT THROUGH A CONSTELLATION OF MEMORY

Searching For Stars

By Lauren Nixon-Matney July 5, 2026
Buddy Holly : Last Kiss Pearl Jam: Last Kiss Cover
By Lauren Nixon-Matney July 5, 2026
My favorite literary phrase of all time is spoken by Josephine March, written by Louisa May Alcott in Little Women. “I like good, strong words that mean something.” You, my dear, you say good, strong words that mean something. You put good, strong words that mean something into the world, and I thank you so very sincerely for that. You have made such an incredible impact on my life, and on my outlook on beauty and aging. ⸻ I stumbled across your incredible fashion sense on Instagram and was completely hooked on your vibe. I absolutely love fashion. I always have. I’ve definitely had my own kind of zany style over the years. So when I saw you, I was like, OK, yes, she is amazing. I love this energy. ⸻ The way you put things together, the confidence, the energy, it makes you wanna get up, go into your closet, and actually enjoy getting dressed again. And for a woman approaching 40, who’s had three children and has had many of her own struggles with who am I, what’s my fashion, what’s my energy, or what’s my style, You just felt so damn refreshing and inspiring. So I hung around, but what really hooked me wasn’t just the style, it was you, the essence of you. The way you talk, the honesty, the fact that you just say things straight, no fluff, no sugarcoating, no trying to be anything other than exactly who you are.. and somehow that makes everything you say sound even more profound. ⸻ The impact your message was having in my life became undeniable. It wasn’t just something I watched for enjoyment anymore, it was something I actually began feeling, and carrying with me. I grew up in a time where it felt like there was an expiration date on women. Like if you didn’t fit into a certain mold, or size, or type… your worth somehow became less. And then life happens. You grow up. You age. Maybe have kids. Your body changes. Your priorities change. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, you can kind of lose your sense of… who am I now? What’s my style? Who am I supposed to become? Am I too late for something? What even feels like me anymore? So for a while, I think I actually bought into that idea without even realizing it. The idiodic notion that maybe I had passed some invisible point where things were supposed to quiet down. Tone down. Fit into something more “acceptable.” Or the grand illusion that I was out of time to follow my passions! But watching you… that narrative just started to fall apart. The way you show up, the way you speak, the way you move through the world so fully as yourself… it made me realize that aging isn’t something to fear or shrink from. If anything, it’s where things start to get really good. It’s where you get bolder. More comfortable. More you. More beautiful. ⸻ What you’re doing matters so much. The way you show up, the way you speak, the way you fully own who you are, it doesn’t just stay on a screen. It carries through pixelated waves. It reaches people like me, in real life, in real moments, and shifts something quietly but powerfully within us. So I just wanted to say thank you. For your honesty, your energy, your style, your voice… all of it. You have inspired me, Searching for Stars, and undoubtedly countless women all over the world more than words can truly translate. Thank you, for being you!
By Lauren Nixon-Matney May 6, 2026
Okay, so I asked God for a sign this week… and I didn’t make it easy on Him. I had just seen this video about asking for a sign, about how God answers, about how He delights in it… and something in me just… recognized that. Like, oh. I’ve felt that before. Lindsey, it was your video. And the second I heard it, I remembered something. I remembered a time, years ago, back in that early, foggy, pinkless season of motherhood, when I had asked for a sign too. I had prayed, really specifically… really honestly… “God, just show me I’m okay. Show me I’m on the right path.” And I asked for a blue butterfly. I didn’t see it right away. I waited. I wondered if I had imagined the whole idea in the first place. And then, not long after, life moved us somewhere new. A new place, new energy… the kind of move that feels exciting and terrifying all at once. They handed us the keys… and right there on them… was a blue butterfly. And I remember feeling that same quiet recognition. Like… okay. And then, a couple months after that, with prayers inside us building for a second child, we went to a park. One of those ordinary days that turns into something you don’t forget. And there were butterflies everywhere. Hundreds of them. Yellow, filling the air, lifting all at once like something out of a dream. And right in the middle of it… one blue butterfly. I just stood there, overwhelmed, because I knew. I knew I had been heard. Nearly one year to the day later, our second child was born. And then… life kept moving. Time passed. Things got busy. Full. Loud. Beautiful… but a little hazy, too. Somewhere along the way, I think I stopped asking like that. Fast forward. I’m sitting with my kids on New Year’s Eve, going into 2025, talking about goals and dreams. The kind of things you say out loud but don’t always fully claim. “I’ve always wanted to write.” And my daughter, so sure, so certain, just looked at me and said, “Then make it your New Year’s resolution.” And something about the way she said it… she didn’t question it. she didn’t overthink it. She just… believed it was possible. So I did. I started building something I’ve carried in pieces since I was in high school. Old notebooks, scattered thoughts, songs, memories… things I’ve never really known how to explain out loud. And for the first time, it felt like someone actually got it. So I got to work. Writing with a baby asleep on my chest… voice notes, typed drafts, music playing in the background… piecing together old memories with new ones. And I love it. I really do. But if I’m being honest… I started to wonder. Is this meaningful? Is this worth the time? Is this something good… or just something I want? And more than anything… I wanted to know if it was something God saw as good. Not just something that looked meaningful… but something that was. So I sat down, quietly, and I prayed. And I said, “God, if this is something I’m supposed to keep building… if I’m on the right path… if this is your will for me… please just show me. Give me a sign.” And I paused… because I knew I couldn’t ask for something easy. I had asked for butterflies before and blue jays have been unusually common in our backyard lately. I needed something specific. Something I wouldn’t just brush off. I looked over… and saw this little pink and white poodle sitting on my daughter’s shelf. And I laughed a little and said, “Okay God… show me a poodle.” almost sarcastically thinking… well, this one’s going to take a little more effort. But of course… Not even 48 hours later, we ran into Burlington. We were just there to grab socks and shoes for my toddler, her sandals were bothering her. Quick in, quick out. We ended up wandering a little. We’re headed to checkout… and my husband steps down an aisle, picks something up, and goes, “Okay, I know this is ridiculous… but we need this for the office.” And he had no idea. Nothing about my prayer. Nothing about the poodle. I’m barely paying attention yet. And then he turns it around. It’s a painting. Of a poodle. Not just a poodle… a poodle in a full business suit… sitting at a desk… reading a newspaper. I just… stopped. A business professional poodle, for the office we’re building together, a space where I can write. Like everything in me went quiet for a second. Because of all the things in the world I could have asked for… of all the ways that prayer could have been answered… it was that. I remember thinking, smiling, fighting back tears of joy… of course it is. Because I had asked for something specific. And apparently… He has a sense of humor. Also, just to make sure I didn’t miss it… because let’s be real, God definitely knows how to show out… the very next place we went… was Petco. And there was this real poodle. Then again. And again. Every aisle I turned… I kept running into it. And that feeling came back. The same one from before. Quiet. Certain. seen. beloved. Lindsey… Thank you so much, you reminded me to ask. You reminded me that God doesn’t just hear us… He answers. Not always in big, overwhelming ways… but in ways we’ll recognize. In ways that feel personal. Specific. Sometimes even funny… like they were meant just for us. And Lindsey… I just want you to know how much I appreciate all of what you’re doing. Your energy, your humor, the way you show up so fully as yourself… it matters more than you probably realize. You make people laugh, you make motherhood feel seen, and you bring light into spaces that can feel heavy sometimes. But there is also so much more than that… God really radiates through you. In the way you speak, in the way you encourage, in the way you remind people to keep going and to keep believing. It’s powerful. And it’s beautiful to witness. What you’ve created with “get your pink back”… that message, that reminder… it’s reaching people. It’s lifting people. It’s giving something back to women who feel like they’ve poured everything out. And that matters. It really does. I’m so grateful I came across your video when I did. And I’m really looking forward to everything you create next… especially your writing. You’re doing something good here. Keep going. Please never stop casting your light into the world… it really does break through the darkness.
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