Starlight in Her Paws: A Letter of Light for Steffany Hope Bowling

Lauren Nixon-Matney • June 26, 2025

Starlight in Her Paws
A Letter of Light for
Steffany Hope Bowling

Dear Steffany,


I think about you more often than you’d expect, and always with the kind of warmth reserved for someone who once changed my life with a puppy. We haven’t seen each other in years, but your light has never dimmed in my memory. I still remember Tuesday Morning those days of post high-school chaos and low-wage camaraderie mostly because of how bright you made them. You were the fun one. The outgoing one. A newlywed, a new mama beaming with pride over your baby boy Josh. You had this spark that made people feel lucky to be near it. I don’t think I ever told you just how much that meant to me.


We bonded over music, over laughter, and especially over animals. You had your sweet miniature dachshunds Lilo & Stitch and I had Atticus. We talked about our dogs like they were family because, well, they were. You knew how much Atticus meant to me, and that I hoped to raise his bloodline alongside mine.


What you did next was one of the kindest, most generous surprises of my life.


Right around my 21st birthday, you and Jamie cooked up a plan. I thought I was getting fish for my birthday,literally. A fish tank! We were at Petco, and I was fully expecting goldfish or guppies or something simple and sweet. But then we turned the corner… and there you were. Holding the most beautiful little dapple dachshund I’d ever seen. Matilda.

My jaw dropped. My heart burst. You smiled that big, excited smile like you knew exactly what you were giving me not just a puppy, but something much, much deeper.


Matilda was everything. She was pure joy, wild energy, and perfect sweetness all rolled into one tiny creature. She was deeply loved every single day of her life. Her time with us was too short cut short by illness but she lived fully, fearlessly, and with so much love surrounding her. She had three beautiful sons: Frankenstein (Frankie), Bruce Wayne, and Charlie. Frankie and Bruce Wayne stayed with us Frankie lived to be almost 13, and Bruce made it to 15 and a half. Eventually, Frankie had a daughter: Penny. A beautiful dapple just like her grandmother.


Penny still lives with us today. She’s grown up alongside our kids. She’s part of the family, just like Matilda was. And often when I look at her, I think of you. Of Lilo and Stitch. Of how much light you shared by trusting me with that little soul.


That legacy still runs through our house on tiny paws and wagging tails and it all traces back to you.


I found you on Facebook years later, and I’ve followed along ever since watching you go viral with your incredible cake creations, laughing at your hilarious TikToks, and feeling constant admiration for the strength, creativity, and joy you radiate. Even while facing health challenges, you’ve remained fierce, fun, and inspiring as hell. You’ve always had that spark. I don’t think it ever went out it just got stronger.


So, Steffany, thank you. Thank you for being the light in a random retail job that turned out to be anything but ordinary. Thank you for Matilda, for the surprise, for the love, and for trusting me with a piece of your heart. Thank you for being the kind of person who stays with someone long after the shift ends.


You are amazing. You always have been. And I’m lucky to have known you.


With so much love,


Lauren

Letters of Light - Letter to Steffany Hope Bowling
Letters of Light: Starlight in Her Paws - Letter to Steffany Hope Bowling

Searching For Stars

By Lauren Nixon-Matney February 2, 2026
I don’t remember deciding to look in the mirror. I was already there, half awake, the house finally quiet in that fragile way it gets after a feeding. Same bathroom. Same light. A body that no longer belonged only to me, still learning its new outline. I tilted my head, not with panic, not even sadness just habit. Like checking a bruise you already know is there. Like waiting for an apology that isn’t coming. What annoyed me wasn’t what I saw. It was how quickly my brain tried to narrate it. The subtle inventory. The mental before and after photos. The unspoken timeline of when I was supposed to “feel like myself again.” I remember thinking, with a tired little laugh, Wow. I just made a human. And I’m still doing this. Still scanning. Still measuring. Still standing here as if my body hadn’t just done something borderline miraculous. And the most unsettling part wasn’t the criticism it was how normal it all felt. Like this was just part of motherhood. Like this quiet self surveillance was simply another thing you were supposed to carry. I didn’t necessarily feel it all at once. There was no dramatic breaking point. It was more like a quiet irritation that refused to go away. The kind that taps you on the shoulder while you’re trying to move on. I remember standing there thinking how strange it was that my body could do something as massive as bringing a whole person into the world and somehow still be treated like a problem to solve. How quickly the conversation had shifted from look what you did to okay, now fix it. I hadn’t failed at anything. And yet, the language in my head sounded like I had. That’s when something finally clicked not so much with anger or rage, but with clarity. This wasn’t intuition. This wasn’t health. This wasn’t even coming from me. It was inheritance. Passed down quietly. Polished to sound responsible. Framed as care. And once I saw that, I couldn’t unsee it. Katie this is where you enter the story… Someone who said the thing out loud that I had only felt in pieces. Someone who named the difference between discipline and disconnection. Between health and harm. Healthy Is the New Skinny didn’t tell me what to do with my body. It asked a better question altogether: What if the problem was never your body in the first place? That question rearranged everything. You gave me language where there had only been pressure. You replaced noise with permission. You handed me tools not commandments and trusted me enough to use them. And that trust mattered. Because the moment I stopped fighting my body, I started listening to it. And the moment I started listening, I realized how long it had been trying to take care of me. It felt like getting this beautiful window. Not to change myself or crawl through but to finally see clearly. I kept thinking about how these things actually get passed down. Not through lectures. Not through rules. But through the tiny stuff. The comments made in passing. The jokes you barely even realize are jokes. The way you talk to yourself when you think no one is listening. Especially kids. Especially daughters. It hit me one night, sitting on the edge of the bed, that someday they wouldn’t need me to explain any of this to them. They would just pick it up. The same way I did. The same way most of us did. Quietly. Without consent. That realization felt clarifying. Not heavy. Just honest. Some patterns don’t need a big exit. They just don’t get invited into the next room. And because of you, Katie, I found the strength to stop fighting myself. To stop trying to fit my body into some mold it was never meant to belong in the first place. To me, you are truly one of the most beautiful women and souls in this universe! Beautiful is the woman who breaks cycles. Beautiful is the voice that replaces shame with truth. Beautiful is someone whose work doesn’t just inspire it liberates. Thank you for changing how I live inside my body. Thank you for changing how I mother. Thank you for helping me choose health over punishment, presence over performance, and confidence that doesn’t ask permission. You saved me in ways you may never know. Thank you so much for opening the window. I’m raising the next generation with it wide open to limitless views of beauty! Lauren
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