Searching For Stars

Welcome to Searching for Stars.

This project is about finding light in the darkest places—about searching for beauty when everything around you feels broken, about clinging to the flicker of stars when the sky seems full of nothing but blackness. Life doesn’t unfold in perfect order, and neither does this story. It’s told in moments, in music, in memories that surface when you least expect them. Like a song that catches you at just the right time or a lyric that suddenly makes sense years later, Searching for Stars is a collection of those flashes—pieces of a story that, when woven together, remind me that even in the deepest chaos, there is always light.

I’ve learned that beauty isn’t always easy to find. Sometimes, you have to dig through the mess—the mistakes, the heartbreak, the confusion—to find something worth holding onto. But it’s always there. It lingers in the songs that become lifelines, in the memories that surface like old melodies, in the moments that remind us who we are. Music has been that for me—a constant, a guide, a thread of light connecting my past to my present.

Searching for Stars is for the dreamers, the music lovers, the ones who know what it’s like to hear a song and feel like it was written just for them. It’s for my children, so they can see the soundtrack of my life and understand the songs that shaped me. It’s for Jamie, who has been there through every note, every high, every low. For my Dad and my brother, who shaped my love of music, and for all the friends who became family along the way. For my Marmie and all the moms who know exactly when to turn the music up loud, spin in the kitchen, and let joy drown out the darkness. For anyone who has ever found themselves searching—for beauty, for clarity, for something to hold onto when the world feels unsteady. Because in the end, we are all searching for something. And if you look closely enough, you’ll find the light from the stars always reappears.

Recently Added Memories:

By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 18, 2025
John Steinbeck: Cannery Row Led Zepplin: The Ocean
By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 18, 2025
Dear Toren, The internet can be loud, cold, and cruel. But then—every once in a while—someone like you shows up. And suddenly, it feels like stars are breaking through the static. I don’t remember exactly when I found you—but I remember the feeling. A sudden hush in my chest. The way my breath caught on the truth of your presence—your light, real light, the kind that can’t be filtered, pouring through my screen and into my soul. You weren’t performing. You were being. And there is so much power in that. In a world of noise, you and your mom carry something sacred: an unfiltered, unflinching, unstoppable joy-the kind that comes not from pretending to be okay, but from loving yourself exactly as you are and letting that love ripple outward. Watching you… listening to you… I saw pieces of my son. And in your mom, I saw myself. The hopes. The fears. The sacred fire of trying to raise a child with everything you have—and then some. The kind of love that rearranges you from the inside out. The kind that says, “I see you. I hear you. And I’m staying with you.” And while we’re here—can I just say? Your fashion sense is unmatched. Every outfit is a moment. Every accessory, a small act of liberation. You express joy, truth, and color before you’ve even said a word. It’s art. Because of you, I’ve learned more about how to love my children. Because of you, I’ve softened toward myself. Because of you, I’ve started to understand: the things I once labeled as “too much” were never flaws—just parts of my light trying to break free. You’ve reminded me that neurodivergence isn’t a detour. It’s a map. A divine, detailed map to a new kind of wholeness—one where nothing has to be hidden or fixed to be loved. You shine, Toren. You and Serenity Christine are so beautiful—your inner light shines bright beyond the surface. In every sea shanty. In every moment of humor, honesty, hope. In every word Serenity wraps around you like a song. And you remind the rest of us—every day—that being yourself isn’t just enough. It’s everything. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Keep shining. With Love, Lauren Searching for Stars
By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 18, 2025
New Found Glory : Stay (I Missed You) *ft. Lisa Loeb Film: Reality Bites
By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 17, 2025
Blue Öyster Cult : Don’t Fear the Reaper Film: The Frighteners
By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 15, 2025
Queen : You 're My Best Friend Film: The Secret Life Of Pets
By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 18, 2025
John Steinbeck: Cannery Row Led Zepplin: The Ocean
By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 18, 2025
Dear Toren, The internet can be loud, cold, and cruel. But then—every once in a while—someone like you shows up. And suddenly, it feels like stars are breaking through the static. I don’t remember exactly when I found you—but I remember the feeling. A sudden hush in my chest. The way my breath caught on the truth of your presence—your light, real light, the kind that can’t be filtered, pouring through my screen and into my soul. You weren’t performing. You were being. And there is so much power in that. In a world of noise, you and your mom carry something sacred: an unfiltered, unflinching, unstoppable joy-the kind that comes not from pretending to be okay, but from loving yourself exactly as you are and letting that love ripple outward. Watching you… listening to you… I saw pieces of my son. And in your mom, I saw myself. The hopes. The fears. The sacred fire of trying to raise a child with everything you have—and then some. The kind of love that rearranges you from the inside out. The kind that says, “I see you. I hear you. And I’m staying with you.” And while we’re here—can I just say? Your fashion sense is unmatched. Every outfit is a moment. Every accessory, a small act of liberation. You express joy, truth, and color before you’ve even said a word. It’s art. Because of you, I’ve learned more about how to love my children. Because of you, I’ve softened toward myself. Because of you, I’ve started to understand: the things I once labeled as “too much” were never flaws—just parts of my light trying to break free. You’ve reminded me that neurodivergence isn’t a detour. It’s a map. A divine, detailed map to a new kind of wholeness—one where nothing has to be hidden or fixed to be loved. You shine, Toren. You and Serenity Christine are so beautiful—your inner light shines bright beyond the surface. In every sea shanty. In every moment of humor, honesty, hope. In every word Serenity wraps around you like a song. And you remind the rest of us—every day—that being yourself isn’t just enough. It’s everything. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Keep shining. With Love, Lauren Searching for Stars
By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 18, 2025
New Found Glory : Stay (I Missed You) *ft. Lisa Loeb Film: Reality Bites
By Lauren Nixon-Matney June 17, 2025
Blue Öyster Cult : Don’t Fear the Reaper Film: The Frighteners
Show More

About The Author:

Lauren Nixon-Matney writes like a mixtape. She believes in the power of good stories, great soundtracks, and the kind of memories that hit like a scene from your favorite movie.

She’s the creator of Searching for Stars, a musical memory project and emotional time capsule built on love, loss, and the bright flickers that shape a life.
Blending personal storytelling, musical soul, and the cinematic echoes of childhood, she invites readers to sit with beauty, grief, and the small things that endure—joyful, painful, unforgettable.

From the spaces between the stars—where grief hums like music, the past lives on in fragments, beauty refuses to fade, and the heart keeps looking up—her memories unfold, one story, one beat at a time.